Thirty three years ago this morning my Mom lost her battle with cancer. It was before mamograms. She was 45. She found her cancer early and it was already a Stage 4. She had two radical mastectomies and yet it spread. She fought the good fight wanting to live long enough to see my brother and I graduate from high school. As it turned out she died one week into my brothers senior year and my sophmore year.
I was 15 and he was 17.
I used to think 45 was ancient. It's not. When I reached the age she was when she died, it was a turning point in my own life. I'm 48 now and celebrate every year I'm alive. I will never be one of those intolerant women who begrude having a birthday since it means they're a year older. To complain about age is a waste of time and energy. It should be a celebration!
They should be so lucky!
So, when this happens you grow up fast and make your own life early on. This is what my brother and I did. I guess we still are. I feel she would be proud of the lives we have made for ourselves and the people we share them with.
I feel her presence and her absence every day.
Does it get easier? I'm not sure. I'll let you know that when I figure it out myself.
Continue your self-exams and be dilligent.
But also, love every day you have, life is shorter than we think.
♥
Patricia
7 comments:
Your mother will always be with you. I truly believe that. She would be so proud of the wonderful woman you've become. And of your choice in men!
It's doesn't take the place of your Mom but you know you have a tremendous number of people who love you. Count me in that group...
Bonnie
Blessings to you Patricia! I agree with you on so many levels. Having had cancer at age 19 (now I'm 47) I do believe every day is a gift that I MUST use and enjoy wisely. Having Lupus since 1986 has been trying but I still am grateful to be here. My son is getting married the end of October and I'm thrilled. I honestly never thought I'd live past 40 so when you made that comment I shook my head in agreement. It IS such a turning point...Thank you for this post. It was a good reminder for me. With gratitude, Laurie B.
Oh, Pat. Another lovely post.
I lost my father 28 years ago and I miss him as much today as I did that horrific day. There is a hole in my heart.
I know he is with me, though, as your mother is with you.
God Bless Pat - Hugs.
I send you my warmest thoughts. I lost my Dad when I was in my 20s and it still can bring tears to my eyes from time to time.
Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am in a thousand winds that blow,
I am the softly falling snow.
I am the gentle showers of rain,
I am the fields of ripening grain.
I am in the morning hush,
I am in the graceful rush
Of beautiful birds in circling flight,
I am the starshine of the night.
I am in the flowers that bloom,
I am in a quiet room.
I am in the birds that sing,
I am in each lovely thing.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there. I do not die.
--Mary Elizabeth Frye (1905 – 2004)
**** hugs ****
--
amy
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