༺ A Family Reunion ༻

On Memorial Day weekend, my family gathered in New Jersey, the epicenter of Swearingens! There were 18 of us. My cousin Kathy and her daughter Izzy from the UK, my brother Ken and his wife Michele from Florida and Jon and I from Indiana.
This was the first time some of us had met. To all come together to reconnect, meet, laugh and cry was cathartic to say the very least. When my Father died unexpectedly on Easter, I think the feeling was that we all needed to come together somehow. This was the time and this was the place. My Aunt and Uncle and their children, my cousins, made it possible.

In recent years, my Dad would drive to New Jersey from his home in Georgia for summer visits. He made memories there that I'm hearing about now. He met his nieces and nephews children and their partners. He reconnected with his only brother and his wife and he had a good time.
This time the party was without him, but his presence was very much there.

On Memorial Day a red twig dogwood was planted in his honor. As the soil was being prepared, the sky grew dark, thunder rumbled and his plant was entrusted to my cousins yard. My Aunt felt their yard represented the 'future'. My brother and Uncle carefully turned the soil. I cried.
Swearingens are particularly gifted with green thumbs and gardening. What flashed through my mind were vivid memories of my Grandfather with his snow white hair, my Dads Dad, tending to his yard. The citrus trees he grafted and the tropical flowers he grew. It was his place of peace. It was like he too was there in seeing his now white haired son, my Uncle, prepare this ground for his brothers plant. Hands and shovels in soil turning the rich earth. Amazingly cathartic. The sky darkened further, thunder rumbled and the winds picked up. It reminded me of my brother Ken and I playing on our swing set before a storm. I loved it then and I love it now! The energy palpable. We were all feeling this emense release of joy and sadness all at one time in concert with the energy of the approaching storm.
I want to remember this moment like I remember the clarity I felt the day Dad died.
The air, the wind, the aliveness of all around me.
A few words were spoken, nothing formal. My little niece said "sleep well Uncle Ken".

That's all that really needed to be said!
Rest in peace Dad- you're loved!

Love,
Pat

Making A Difference

There are times in ones life when the passing of a 'larger than life' individual will leave you remembering where you were when you heard the news. The death of Ted Kennedy was one of those profound moments. I heard of his death while being near water in Maine. That felt appropriate since sea water flowed through his veins.

A life well lived let him weather many personal storms in his 77 years. He saw too many younger than himself die, buried too many relatives and yet he did not quit. He persevered and continued. I'll miss his Irish grin and determination. His service and selflessness will remind us of the purpose we can bring to our own lives. His gracious compassion will live on.

His personality let him be a part of everyone. His passing has helped me find within myself a determination to move forward in difficult times, since he too was not a quitter. If he was, he would have quit long ago.
It is lessons such as this that we can take from the passing of such people.
They shape so many lives while quietly going about their own.

Perhaps this is the marker of what it means to be fully human and fully alive.

Long a champion of those less fortunate, to me, he was the metaphor of a life well-lived. His broad grin and bright eyes gleamed with hope. He made the future feel possible.
He in no way was perfect.
None of us are.
His past a myriad of all that makes us human.

He made mistakes but knew that because he loved a forgiving God, he could move forward. This is the fundamental belief of being Catholic and he lived his faith. He was dealt his fair share of tragedy amidst a life of great privilege. Perhaps it was this loss that gave him endless compassion for people of all walks of life and in doing so garnered the respect of his family and many who fundamentally disagreed with him.

He had soul.

His good friend President Obama said this in his eulogy "The greatest expectations were placed upon Ted Kennedy's shoulders because of who he was, but he surpassed them all because of who he became."

Ted Kennedy made a difference.


Patricia