Thirty four years ago today..........

Thirty four years ago today I was 15.
Thirty four years ago today my Mom died.
She was 45.
I thought forty five was 'ancient' in kid years.
I'm 49 and know fully well 45 is not old and
15 is way too young.
Some things hurt no matter how long ago they happen to you.
This is one of those hurts.

In the years after my Moms death, there were times I missed her more than other times.
When I was sick -I missed her more then.
When I was feeling lost and alone.
When I lost a cat. I cried for all my losses, old and new.
She was a wonderfully loving Mom who gave great hugs and let my brother and I know we were loved
and accepted no matter what. She encouraged us to be in life what we wanted to be, not what she hoped or
dreamed we'd be.
She let us be ourselves.
Not every parent allows this of their children.
There were no shadows or shoes to fill.
I think the longest walk my brother and I made was away from her grave site.
It felt like a million miles through the wet grass.

Her life was cut short of seeing who my brother and I turned out to be.
My brother became an attorney, is married to a wonderful woman and has a teenage son.
I became an artist. Married the love of my life and make art.
We became who we wanted to be thanks to her love and support.

So here I am today. Missing her.
I have a nasty cold and seem to miss her more today.
Some things never change.
Love you Mom. I think you'd be proud of us!
We became ourselves.

Pat
xo

TattooDreams Beaded Curtain

This took a long time to do!
It's the beaded 'curtain' for my TattooDreams booth.
Encompassing countless thousands of beads, it became a focal point in my booth this past weekend at it's debut show. Each string is about 7 feet long.
All the beads are strung on stainless steel cable and fastened to drapery rings. It's heavy and takes both Jon and I to
move it about, much like carrying a boa constrictor-not that we've ever done that!

It received lots of attention and may have garnered me a commission or two. Time and
follow-throughs will tell. Needless to say, it's a fun addition to my booth and one well worth the countless hours
of painting, stamping, drilling, and stringing to accomplish.

Patricia

Letting Go

We went to Maine.
For 4 days--we let go.
of time
internet connectedness
stress
bad karma.
I had a massage.
More letting go.
My therapist's strong hands clasped mine as she
noticed the array of colorful beaded bracelets on my wrist.
She asked me what kind of massage I wanted.
I told her.
She asked about my bracelets.
I told her....
small pieces of myself I like to share.
I gave one to a friend-someone I thought was a friend.
I had one similar on my wrist.

She worked the knots in my over-stressed body
and melted them away with
long
smooth
deep
healing
strokes.
These people are healers.

She gave me the best massage I'd ever had!....
The remnants of a recent hurtful experience, now gone.
The knots released in my body as I let go of the pain I'd been harboring inside.

I dressed.
I breathed in deeply.
I left behind on her small table
a colorful beaded bracelet that
I no longer needed to wear.

I let go.

Patricia

Fourth Street Festival of the Arts & Crafts

This coming Labor Day weekend we'll be doing our local art festival here in Bloomington. Located downtown on 4th Street, this artist run show is a true celebration of the arts in this enigmatic town. There we'll see everyone we know, lots of friends and hopefully be selling lots of TattooDreams work!

Tonight I finished this new Artists Affirmations Vessel. It'll be in my booth this weekend. This vessel is handmade by Jon of cherry, airbrushed, stamped and tied with ephemera. Adorned with shells, sea urchin spines, glass beads, waxed linen, silk,hand stamped beads and bamboo. Vessels this size cold be used as cremation urns.
What a way to go!!

Patricia

Making A Difference

There are times in ones life when the passing of a 'larger than life' individual will leave you remembering where you were when you heard the news. The death of Ted Kennedy was one of those profound moments. I heard of his death while being near water in Maine. That felt appropriate since sea water flowed through his veins.

A life well lived let him weather many personal storms in his 77 years. He saw too many younger than himself die, buried too many relatives and yet he did not quit. He persevered and continued. I'll miss his Irish grin and determination. His service and selflessness will remind us of the purpose we can bring to our own lives. His gracious compassion will live on.

His personality let him be a part of everyone. His passing has helped me find within myself a determination to move forward in difficult times, since he too was not a quitter. If he was, he would have quit long ago.
It is lessons such as this that we can take from the passing of such people.
They shape so many lives while quietly going about their own.

Perhaps this is the marker of what it means to be fully human and fully alive.

Long a champion of those less fortunate, to me, he was the metaphor of a life well-lived. His broad grin and bright eyes gleamed with hope. He made the future feel possible.
He in no way was perfect.
None of us are.
His past a myriad of all that makes us human.

He made mistakes but knew that because he loved a forgiving God, he could move forward. This is the fundamental belief of being Catholic and he lived his faith. He was dealt his fair share of tragedy amidst a life of great privilege. Perhaps it was this loss that gave him endless compassion for people of all walks of life and in doing so garnered the respect of his family and many who fundamentally disagreed with him.

He had soul.

His good friend President Obama said this in his eulogy "The greatest expectations were placed upon Ted Kennedy's shoulders because of who he was, but he surpassed them all because of who he became."

Ted Kennedy made a difference.


Patricia

This Is What 2000 5/8" Painted Wood Beads Look Like......

Over the past few weeks I have been preparing for the upcoming shows we have. There's always something that needs to be done. Always! Many of my TattooDreams items require beads to adorn them. Because of this, I paint beads every chance I get. These in the photo are 5/8" wood blocks. I create some beads by cutting wood and drilling the holes myself. This is far more labor intensive but offers me the ability to create any size or shape I desire. It's the variety of size, shape and mix of patterns that make these baubles so wonderfully tactile.
You'll be seeing more things with beads soon! Stay tuned!

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Patricia

Good things.........

You know what they say about good things, 'they come in small boxes!'
In this case, the 'good thing' is the box! These are a small assortment of new ring boxes we finished yesterday. Each box is 3" x 3" and almost 3" tall. These will be headed to shows soon. Some may get posted to my etsy.com site. Stay tuned, there's more to come!

Patricia